Don’t Ridicule Others

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا لَا يَسْخَرْ قَومٌ مِّن قَوْمٍ عَسَى أَن يَكُونُوا خَيْرًا مِّنْهُمْ وَلَا نِسَاء مِّن نِّسَاء عَسَى أَن يَكُنَّ خَيْرًا مِّنْهُنَّ وَلَاتَلْمِزُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَلَا تَنَابَزُوا بِالْأَلْقَابِ بِئْسَ الاِسْمُ الْفُسُوقُ بَعْدَ الْإِيمَانِ وَمَن لَّمْ يَتُبْ فَأُوْلَئِكَ هُمُ الظَّالِمُونَ

“O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent – then it is those who are the wrongdoers.” (49:11)

Islam is a very beautiful religion. It doesn’t even allow little things to do that can hurt someone. The most common behavior of people has been discussed in this Ayat of the Holy Quran. We often make fun of one another and call them with false names just to degrade others. The Quran has forbidden us to do so. For example, sometimes we make fun of someone’s physical appearance and call him with a name regarding his appearance like tall, fat, thin etc. Maybe the other person gives a smile at the spot but it makes him sad later. You call a fat person with a false name like fatty or balloon etc. You don’t know how much it will hurt him.

This ayat has specially mentioned ladies and asked them to avoid this kind of behavior. It is observed that this behavior is more common among women than men. Ladies mostly ignore the fact that they are going to hurt someone. They just ridicule another person or call him with some false names. Sometimes we are talking about a person in his absence and use indecent language and names for him. Sometimes we insult a person in front of others just to degrade him. All these bad manners are forbidden according to this ayat and and these habits are declared as ‘Fisq’. Remember, if we ridicule others, others ridicule us and this will make a chain to hurt each other. So, let’s start from ourselves to determine that we will not ridicule any person nor call with any false name. After this, also forbid others to do so. Telling others about a good deed is just like we are doing it.  

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How to attempt your paper

Tips and Tricks

Most of our teachers teach the students in a very good way and give them a good conceptual clarity but don’t tell them how to attempt an impressive paper. So, as a result students fail to get good marks in their exam despite knowing the correct answer. Here we are sharing some tips for our students to get good marks in exams.

First of all it is necessary to prepare yourself for the exam and revise all necessary concepts. If your exam is very close and you are worried about it’s preparation, read this blog: How to prepare yourself for Exam in very limited time.

1. When you are in examination center, keep yourself peaceful and don’t be panic about your paper
2. When you get your question paper read it thoroughly and try to attempt the questions first that you know best.(This point is not for those who are attempting an online paper and bound to attempt the question opened before them.) 
3. Keep these instructions in your mind while attempting short questions.
   • Usually a specific answer is required in such questions and you don’t need to write extra details. So, to the point exact answer is enough to get full marks. Don’t waste your time in writing unnecessary details.
   • Focus on the question and read it more than one time. You have to understand what has been asked in the question. Don’t give irrelevant answers.
   • If you don’t remember the answer of the question, put stress on your memory, maybe you remember some answer close to the question
   • Don’t let any question unanswered. Unanswered question means zero. But if you write something close to the answer of the question, maybe you get a few marks.  

     4.   Follow these instructions while attempting a long question.

• Normally the answer to a long question is effective if you make points in it. Don’t write it in one or two long paragraphs. Examiner has no time to read all the paragraphs and he may give you average marks for it.  
• Choose important points for your answer. Your points must be relevant to the answer. Make headings for these points with marker or bold pen. Write details under each point. 
• Give relevant quotations with marker or bold pen under these points.

      5.   Usually students think that examiners never read their answers and just give marks if they have written something under the answer. So some students just copy-paste the question statement in the answer and expect marks for it. Don’t make such a mistake and write whatever you remember about the asked question. 

      6.   Attempt the questions at the end about which you have less knowledge. Focus on the topic and write whatever you remember about it. 

Wish you best of luck   

Joint Family System

Although the nuclear family system is prevailing in our society nowadays, a joint family system is still existing here. There are many people who are not in favor of the joint family system because of the indecent behavior of other family members but if all the family members follow some rules to live together, nothing is better than the joint family system.

In this article, let’s discuss the things and rules we should follow when we are living in a joint family system. 

Respect of each other

It is very necessary to give respect to each other when you are living in a joint family system whether the next member is your elder or younger.   

Cooperate with each other

While living in a joint family system, there must be an environment of cooperation with each other. Without cooperation, there is no reason to live together. So, whenever you can, you should cooperate with your other family members physically, economically and spiritually. 

Love 

Love your other family members to keep a happy environment in your home. Without creating love for each other it is very difficult to live under one roof.

Care

When we care for other family members and express that we care for them, it creates the feeling of a happy family.

Respect of privacy

As we know, there are several families living in a house in a joint family system. Every family has its own privacy and they don’t want anyone to interfere in their every matter. So, all the family members should take care of the privacy of the other and should not inconvenience them. 

Unity

Unity makes a family strong. Even if you have some issues with your family members, you should not disclose it to outsiders. A small party arrangement with a cup of tea is very effective to bring all the members to a table.

Sacrifice

Courage to sacrifice for each other keeps a joint family united. Don’t argue even when you are right. Accept your faults when you are wrong.

Avoid curiosity, investigation and spying

Don’t try to be curious about other families living with you. It can affect their privacy and can make them inconvenient. Give everyone space because everybody has his own personal life. As you don’t want others to know about some aspects of your life, everybody wants so.    

Patience and forgiveness

Be patient while living in a joint family system and forgive the faults of others. Getting hyper or aggressive for little things is not a good practice. Living in a joint family system requires great patience for your other family members.

How to make your child behave nicely

Almost all the parents want to make their child a nice person. But it is a common behavior among our children to get hyper and aggressive for little things. Parents usually fail to find out the reasons behind this behavior. But there can be several reasons like the behavior of parents, behavior of other elders, excessive use of screens or atmosphere at home. Let’s talk about the reasons that can affect the behavior of our kids.

Behavior of parents and other elders

First of all, keep in mind that children are very pure and innocent. Whatever we are doing or saying, our children are observing all that and feeding in their minds as an input data. The output would be exactly according to the input. So, if you want to keep your children calm and peaceful, you have to keep yourself peaceful. Parents and elders usually don’t take care of their behavior in front of their children. They deal with each other with harsh language. They deal with their kids with harsh language. So, in result, the kids adopt the same behavior. 

Excessive use of screen

It is a reality that the use of screens affects the behavior of children. When they watch the screen for long, they become aggressive and frustrated. They become angry for no reason and usually express their frustration to their parents and siblings. You can observe the difference in the behavior of children on the basis of different screen timing. 

Atmosphere at home

Another thing that affects the behavior of kids is the atmosphere of the home. If the family keeps the atmosphere happy, peaceful and friendly at home, the kids remain peaceful and happy and don’t get frustrated with little things. But if the family members get frustrated for little things, they should not expect kids to avoid it. 

Remember that your kids follow you in every matter

• If you want your kids not to watch the screen for long, you have to avoid it first.
• If you want your kids to say salam while meeting any one, you should say salam whenever you meet them. Say salam when they get up early in the morning, say salam whenever you come home.
• Call your kids with respectful words and names
• Take care of their self-respect
• Behave them in the way you want them to behave with you.
• Give them respect so they can know that they have to give you respect.

Problems of new parents

In this article, we are going to discuss the common problems faced by the new parents of our society. Normally When a couple is blessed with a baby, it is the happiest time for them. When the parents pick up their little angle in their lap, they forget all their worries. But in our society, it’s a culture among our people to make the new parents worry about their little one. Let’s discuss the common phrases, the new parents have to listen:

Newborn: *baby bht weak he.. *Rang kala he.. *kis pr gya he.. *pyara he.. *ye to bht healthy he checkup krwao doctor se.. 😀 *ankhen q nhi kholta.. 

After few days: *hansta nhi he.. *rota bht he.. *bhook nhi lgti kya ise..

One month later: khana ehtiyat se khao baby feeding pr he.. *pratha na khao baby k belly me pain ho ga.. *dahi bhalley mat khao baby ko diarrhea ho jaye ga  *orange na khao baby ka gala khrab ho jaye ga (bechari new mothers)

2 months later: baby ka sir sahi nhi bnaya dekho terha ho gya he.. *kesi maa ho bachey ko rulati rehti ho.. *bachey ki adaten bigarh di hen.. 😀

3 months later:  *baby weak hota ja raha he feeder lgao.. *baby abi apney paon pr wazan q nhi dalta.. *abi bethna q shuru nhi hua.. :O 

And there is a long long long list of the phrases that the new parents listen to during different stages of baby’s age. Our more conscious aunties feel no hesitation while saying that hmare bachey to 4 months k the jab daant nikal aye the.. hmare bachey to 7 month k chalney lag gye the… and the poor new mother becomes worried that why her little one is growing up very slowly.. Oh come on! Your baby is going well. This is the era of the internet. You can search the growth of a baby month by month from the internet and watch the growth signs in your baby. Keep in mind that every baby has a different nature and different growth speed. Like some babies start walking early and some late. Some talk early and some late. But you have no need to worry about these little things. Don’t compare your baby with others’ children. Believe in you and your baby. No one is more conscious about your baby than you so stop giving importance to the useless phrases of others. Be happy and pay attention to your little one because he needs you more than anything else.  

Engage your toddler for long time

This is a common issue for every mother, how to engage their toddlers for a long time. Mothers have to do their household chores but the kids want their attention continuously and don’t let them do their work. Mothers give them toys to play with but they soon become fed up with their regular toys. So, the mothers try to find out different ways to engage them for a long time. Most of the mothers use mobile phones for this purpose but watching the screen for a long time is harmful for kids. It should be avoided in any situation. Here are some suggestions to engage them for long time so that you can complete your tasks easily.

Colorful Picture Books:

Colorful picture books are very effective for this purpose. There are several pages in a book and several pictures on each page. You just have to make your kid focus on the pictures. Once he starts focusing on the pictures, it will be great fun for him to see and enjoy the pictures. Tell him the names of the pictures. Familiarity with the pictures makes him more engaged with the books.  

Water paints

Playing with water paints is another great joy that keeps your kids engaged for a long time. Wear your kids some rough clothes, give them charts and paints and let them play. But keep in mind that there should be nothing near them that they can ruin with colors. 

Blocks

Usually kids are creative and they want to play with new things. Blocks are activities that can engage them for a long time because they can make different things like buildings, toys, animals, vehicles etc with the help of blocks. 

Circulation of toys

Usually mothers put all the toys in one basket or bag and give that basket or bag to their kids to play with. The kids become fed up of toys soon and again come to mom to disturb her. If you want to keep your kids engaged for long, you have to follow this tip. Keep all the toys in a cupboard out of the range of your kid. Give him only some toys to play at a time and keep the rest hidden from him. Other days give him some other toys and hide the previous. When kids see their toys after many days, they take interest and remain engaged with them for a long time. 

Playing with water

If it is summer and you want to keep your kids engaged. Water is a very joyful option for them. You can give them a water shower bottle to play with as it is the safest idea. 

Morality of Prophet Muhammad PBUH

Our beloved Holy Prophet Muhammad PBUH has the highest moral character. Allah has made him a role model for the people to follow his Sunnah. He has all good moral qualities in his personality that we should follow in our life.

Truthfulness

Allah says in Quran:

“O believers, fear God, and be among those who are the truthful ones” (9:119)

Our beloved Holy Prophet Muhammad PBUH never told a lie. Before Islam, he was famous among Meccans due to his truthfulness. The Meccans used to call him ‘Al-Sadiq’ and ‘Al-Ameen’ due to this quality. He was not only righteous by himself but he also taught his followers to always speak truth. As he said that:

“Truth leads one to virtue and virtue leads one to Paradise and the person tells the truth until he is recorded as truthful, and lie leads to obscenity and obscenity leads to Hell, and the person tells a lie until he is recorded as a liar.”
(Sahih Muslim)

The Holy Prophet told the signs of Hypocrite and said, “Whenever he speaks, he tells a lie”

Honesty

The second major moral character of our Prophet was ‘honesty’. Even Non-Muslims had trust upon him and gave their precious things to him as ‘amanah’. They also used to call him with the name of ‘Al-Amin’. Even when the Meccans had become his enemies and wanted to kill him, they still entrusted him with their things. Our Holy Prophet PBUH had to do hijrah towards Madina but he made the duty of Hazrat Ali R.A (his cousin) to return all the entrusted things to their owners.

He said that:

لَا إِيمَانَ لِمَنْ لَا أَمَانَةَ لَهُ

“There is no faith for one who cannot be trusted.”

Bravery

Quran says:

أَلآ إِنَّ أَوْلِيَآءَ اللَّهِ لاَ خَوْفٌ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلاَ هُمْ يَحْزَنُونَ

“Behold! Verily no fear shall be upon the friends of Allah, nor shall they grieve;” (10:62)

Our beloved Prophet PBUH had a brave personality. He had fear of no one other than Allah. He leaded his followers in many ‘Ghazwat’ and never ran away. During Ghazwa e Uhod, when Muslims were desperate due to a powerful attack of the enemies, Holy Prophet Muhammad PBUH was standing on the mountain and calling the Muslims to gather around him. He became wounded during this war but didn’t leave his followers alone. 

Forgiveness

Our beloved Prophet PBUH used to forgive others. As Quran says:

وَلَمَن صَبَرَ وَغَفَرَ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ لَمِنْ عَزْمِ الْأُمُورِ

And whoever is patient and forgives – indeed, that is of the matters [requiring] determination.

At the time of the conquest of Makkah, Our Prophet can take revenge from his enemies but he forgave all of them who planned to kill him. Even he forgave the murderers of his beloved daughter and uncle Hamza.

Patience

Patience has a great importance in Islam. As Quran says:

Be patient, surely Allah is with those who remain patient” (Quran, 8:46)

The Holy Prophet PBUH stayed patient in every hardship and difficulty. His enemies gave him very tough times during the preaching of Islam but he didn’t lose patience. When he traveled to Taif and preach them the message of Islam, People threw stones on him and made him injured. In that situation when his body was bleeding, he remained patient and gave dua to those people.

Infaaq

Allah says in Quran:

And whatsoever you spend of anything in Allah’s cause, He will replace it (34:39)

Our beloved Prophet PBUH had no greed of wealth and worldly things. Whatever he got, he gave it to the needy people. He also taught his followers to help the needy. He said:

“The upper hand is better than the lower hand.”

It means that the person who is giving is better than a person who is receiving.

Life of a Muslim Woman

It is a big misconception that Islam bounds a woman to her house just to do her households chores, become the servant of her husband and raise her children. Instead of it, Islam gives woman a relax and convenient life. She is not bound to earn money to fulfill her expenditures. It’s the duty of her husband to earn money and fulfill all of her needs. But if she wants to earn money to support her family, Islam doesn’t forbid her. There are so many Muslim women who are earning money and supporting their family. 

Islam has given some teachings about every phase and every field of life. If we follow these teachings, it results in our betterment. It is the duty of a husband to fulfill all the needs of his wife and in return it’s the duty of a wife to stay loyal and obedient with her husband.

الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاء بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنفَقُواْ مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللّهُ 

 “Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth. So righteous women are devoutly obedient, guarding in [the husband’s] absence what Allah would have them guard.” (4:34)

It’s the duty of parents to raise their children with affection and kindness and in return it’s the duty of children to take care of their parents when they get old.

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ إِحْسَانًا

“And We have enjoined upon man, to his parents, good treatment.”  (46:15)

Islam teaches to deal the women with great affection, love and respect. So, a Muslim woman gets special love and protocol from the males of her family. Before marriage, she gets love of father and brothers and after marriage, she gets love and respect from her husband who fulfills all her needs, even happily picks up her bags when she is shopping.

 If a Muslim woman works to earn money, she doesn’t forget her duties that Islam gave her regarding her religion, family and society. This is the real beauty of a Muslim woman that besides working, she offers five times prayer. Besides working she pays attention to her children and doesn’t forget to raise and train them according to Islamic teachings. Besides working, she gives time to her husband and takes care of his needs. Besides working, she doesn’t forget to see her parents. A Muslim woman is not bounded in boundaries of her house but she is bounded with the chains of love, respect, kindness and affection that she gets from her family and in return she gives to her family. 

Give your Sisters their share in inheritance

Before Islam, Women had no rights in inheritance. Islam didn’t only give them rights but also fixed a proper share for them in inheritance. But still it can be observed in our society that after the death of parents, when it is time to distribute the inheritance, the daughters and sisters are not given their share in it. In fact they are forced to leave their share for their brothers. Why is this so? We never saw any brother who leave his rights from inheritance and give it to his sister. Brothers always take their full share irrespective of their financial condition. Then why the sisters are bound to give up their right. It is also observed that the sisters are asked that if they want to keep their relationship with their brothers, they have to leave their share in the favor of their brothers. Otherwise their relationship will break up. With this black mailing brothers usually take sisters’ signatures on property papers that they will not demand for their right in inheritance. Sometimes the brothers are financially strong but the sisters are needy and still the brothers feel no hesitation while taking over the share of their sisters. This is a very disappointing and unethical behavior. This behavior shows how much our society is unaware of Islamic teachings.

 We have mentioned here some verses from surah Nisa in this regard. If you have an excuse that you already have small property and if you would give the sister’s share what would be left for you, read what Quran is saying:  

لِّلرِّجَالِ نَصيِبٌ مِّمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالأَقْرَبُونَ وَلِلنِّسَاء نَصِيبٌ مِّمَّا تَرَكَ الْوَالِدَانِ وَالأَقْرَبُونَ مِمَّا قَلَّ مِنْهُ أَوْ كَثُرَ نَصِيبًا مَّفْرُوضًا

“For men there is a share in what their parents and close relatives leave, and for women there is a share in what their parents and close relatives leave—whether it is little or much. ˹These are obligatory shares.” (4:7)

It is declared in the Holy Quran that the daughter has half share in inheritance than the son.

يُوصِيكُمُ اللّهُ فِي أَوْلاَدِكُمْ لِلذَّكَرِ مِثْلُ حَظِّ الأُنثَيَيْنِ

“Allah commands you regarding your children: the share of the male will be twice that of the female.” (4:11)

It is clearly said that these shares are obligatory from Allah Almighty. 

فَرِيضَةً مِّنَ اللّهِ

“This is an obligation from Allah.” (4:11)

تِلْكَ حُدُودُ اللّهِ وَمَن يُطِعِ اللّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ يُدْخِلْهُ جَنَّاتٍ تَجْرِي مِن تَحْتِهَا الأَنْهَارُ خَالِدِينَ فِيهَا وَذَلِكَ الْفَوْزُ الْعَظِيمُ

These ˹entitlements˺ are the limits set by Allah. Whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger will be admitted into Gardens under which rivers flow, to stay there forever. That is the ultimate triumph! (4:13)

وَمَن يَعْصِ اللّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَيَتَعَدَّ حُدُودَهُ يُدْخِلْهُ نَارًا خَالِدًا فِيهَا وَلَهُ عَذَابٌ مُّهِينٌ

But whoever disobeys Allah and His Messenger and exceeds their limits will be cast into Hell, to stay there forever. And they will suffer a humiliating punishment. (4:14)

These verses clearly show how important the shares of inheritance are. How anybody can take one’s right that Allah has given to him. If someone is doing so, he should read these verses. This is a mortal world. For a little piece of earth don’t spoil your life hereafter that is immortal. Allah has warned that whoever disobeys Allah and His messenger, will be entered into Hell and will stay there forever. If we snatch anybody’s right in this world, we have to pay back on the Day of Judgement. One more thing you should keep in mind that if you will give your sister’s share, Allah will increase your wealth, but if you will deprive others from their rights, Allah will deprive from His blessings.

Being a sister, a woman should also play her role in this regard. You have been given a share in your parents’ property by Allah Almighty. If you are leaving it willingly or unwillingly, you are sinful. Don’t let your brothers do this sin. Told them that they should not disobey Allah and His Prophet. If they do not listen to you, you can take your right by court. Keep in mind that no power can take your right when Allah Almighty is giving it to you.      

My VBAC Experience

It is a big misconception among the ladies of our country that if they have a C-section before, they cannot give birth to their baby through normal delivery again. But in this article, I’m going to share my VBAC experience with you. 

I have a C-Section in 2018 during the birth of my first baby. I didn’t feel labor pains until my due date and the doctors had to induce labor. They waited for several hours but at last I had to go through a C-Section. It was very difficult for me to accept the situation because my lady relatives told me that normal delivery is impossible after C-Section. But when I started searching about it, I came to know that normal delivery is possible after C-Section and it is called VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). So, at the start of my second pregnancy, I started finding a doctor who would willing for normal delivery. But every doctor said to me “yes the normal delivery is possible but doctors usually don’t take risk because of previous C-Section.” Then I came to know about a homeopathic lady doctor in a nearby area. She was not a gynecologist but she was dealing with normal delivery cases for the last 15 years. You can call her a midwife. I visited her during my 7^th month and told her that I want to go towards VBAC. She told me that she cannot do C-Sections by herself, that’s why she tried her best for normal delivery. She asked me that if I would cooperate with her and wouldn’t lose my courage, we would have a successful VBAC.

Well, I started visiting her after every 15 days and had a proper check up by her so that there is no complication. In my 37th week when I visited her for a checkup, she told me that the baby is ready to deliver. But I was not feeling labor pains. After a complete checkup, she told me that I’m in labor but as my body cannot feel natural pains so, we have to induce labor. Oh! Once again induction… The previous bad experience came to my mind but she made me satisfied that she is going to use a different method of induction than the previous. At that time, I came to know that there are several methods of induction and every method doesn’t suit every person. The doctor should understand the body of her patient first and then use the induction method which suits her. Well after the induction the labor pains got started and within 2 hours of induction, my little baby girl came to this world through VBAC. It was a very happy and blessed time for me on a successful VBAC. My doctor was also very happy and congratulated me on this success. By the grace of Allah, I didn’t face any complications and at that time I came to know that the natural way of delivery is better than any artificial method. You can also read the tips for normal delivery that I’ve followed in this struggle. They will be very helpful for you.